10 Signs that you are possibly being stalked by a member of the Valley Wide Kayak Club *
by Mark Johnson, VWKC Member

1. A small boy seems to be following you. You notice that he keeps stopping to ask people for their empty aluminum cans.

2. The only time you don't feel like you're being watched is on the
first Monday of the month between 6:30 and 8:30 pm.

3. Your neighbor reports a strange dog, in a portable pen, in his
front yard. The dog has a water dish with the name "Millie" on it.

4. You notice a white Toyota pickup truck constantly parked across
the street. Every week, the truck has a new kayak on the top rack.
On closer inspection, you realize the man is standing, not sitting, next
to the truck.

5. You see two people walking towards each other in the mall. They stop,
raise their fists, and look like they are going to punch each other in the
mouth. All of a sudden, they "high-five" each other.

6. When stopped at a red light, you notice a lady in the pickup truck in
the next lane is staring at you. You also notice a gray ramp in the
back, with the words, "temporary and portable" on it.

7. In a public place, shout "Kevlar", and see if anybody's eyes glaze over.
Then shout "watch out for the rocks", and see if they jump.

8. In the restroom, you hear the person in the next stall mumbling
something like, "Big Mike, the safety guy, listen to him or you could
die".

9. The main at the next table in the restaurant is staring at you. You
notice he is wearing neoprene booties.

10. You are constantly finding fresh mule turds in your backyard.

* If you were not a the Salton Sea Campout Feb 22-24, you may not understand the humor in some of the previous "Ten signs that you are possibly being stalked by a member of the Valley Wide Kayak Club". To get up to speed, and join in the fun, make sure you join us at the next campout at Topock Gorge on the Colorado River, April 26-30……See you there! MJ.